2012

Rating – **

At one point towards the end of 2012 we find our “heroes” being swept towards the peak of Mount Everest… in a giant ocean liner… with a giraffe and Queen Elizabeth II (+ corgis) on board. Just process that for a moment… now ponder the possible genesis of such a chain of events. As long as you unplug your brain and ignore the awful clichéd dialogue, there are just enough bombastic and frequently beautiful visual effects driven set pieces to justify the price of admission. Planes fly through crumbling streets, transformed into treacherous debris filled canyons. A volcanic eruption at Yellowstone represents Emmerich at the height of (his own unique brand of) the film making craft. Later he spoofs his own infamous “animal in jeopardy” routine… twice. One features a chicken, the other a dog. The outcome is bad for one of them, take a wild guess.

By the time the credits roll you’ve experienced a Frankenstein-esque “greatest hits” of classic disaster movies. Literally everything has been thrown in for good measure, and it’s all very familiar. Earthquake, Volcano, Deep Impact, The Poseidon Adventure etc. It’s a case of throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks. But I wish Emmerich had presented a more refined version if he insists on using this technique. 158 minutes is more than any sane person would ever want to see “stuff go boom”. Individual scenes are fun, but they become very repetitive. With each subsequent film, Emmerich’s canvas grows even larger but everything else suffers. Think back to Independence Day. I don’t care what anybody else thinks, it was effortless popcorn entertainment of the highest calibre. Remember the banter between Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum, or the first time Smith has a “close encounter”. In contrast, almost every line in 2012 falls flat. Despite the valiant efforts of Woody Harrelson and Chiwetel Ejiofor, this is purely the world’s most expensive visual effects showreel. So see it on a BIG screen!

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~ by thewholebuffalo on November 20, 2009.

One Response to “2012”

  1. remove stars please!

    This is the biggest piece of shit I have ever seen. I mean they resorted to ripping of the bible for a plot. Two of each animal and four arcs.

    I want my money back!

    Also it a total waste of CG.

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